This sucks!

I have been doing really well on the compulsive eating. I have only been eating when I am hungry. I haven't been overeating. For the most part I've been eating appropriate foods and that is where I apparently have screwed myself. I am not losing weight. I know that it has only been two weeks, and I've had my anniversary and some Christmas parties, but I've kicked butt in those situations. I went to a church potluck the other day and just got one plate of reasonable food, didn't go back for seconds, and only ate one dessert. That is huge compared to every other potluck situation I have had previously. The thing with this approach to compulsive eating is that you aren't supposed to fall into the diet mentality of NOT being able to have dessert or eat out or at parties. I know that consistently making poor food choices is also eating compulsively but I haven't been consistently making poor choices.

Now that I have ranted, here are some things that I think may be going on and how I plan to fix them. First of all, my allergies were acting up most of last week and I was taking medicine. I have moved off the medicine and am treating (pretty much successfully) with vitamins. I also haven't been very acitve at all. I am trying now to add fun activities like dancing to music with the girls or doing a few sun salutations. I am trying to ease into the exercise part of it because my body feels so cumbersome and I am feeling emotionally fragile and don't want to force myself to the gym. I want it to be fun. I also know that I have an insulin resistance issue and haven't been avoiding carbs. I am going to remind myself of this when I am choosing foods to fuel my body. Lastly, I wonder how powerful my addictive mind is and if on some level I am still creating this physical holding on of the weight so that I can eventually write this program off and continue to eat.

I keep looking at my remember letter and benefit list to remind myself of what I AM achieving when I don't see all the other benefits that come only with the weight loss.