Tonight's the Night

Okay so I am freaking out a little. I have my third phone coaching session tonight and tonight is the night I learn to stop the behavior of compulsive eating. After tonight, if I choose to eat compulsively, I will be putting myself back in the addiction cycle. I know that my freaking is deprivation thinking and my addictive self talking, but it is still scary/exciting. I am looking forward to it as much as I am fearing it. This program I've been doing is all about choice. You make it very clear that you CAN choose to eat compulsively but that you will pay the consequences. Part of the program is to write out the consequences and the benefits to stopping. You have a script to follow when you are in that moment of compulsion and then you choose whether you want the consequences or the benenfits. The kicker is that if you choose the consequences, even once, you have put yourself back in the addictive cycle and it becomes harder and harder to pull out of it.

One thing that I have identified is that by letting my child/addictive self eat with abandon, I have become neglectful of that child. If I were to treat my child self as I do my own children, I would compassionately teach why it is not healthy to give in to every food whim. I hope that by trying to treat my inner child as one of my own girls, I can beat this.