Day 10

I'm doing okay today. I realize that the reason I am wanting cooked foods is that my addiction is talking to me. It's not even that I am wanting cooked foods, I want bad foods. I want pizza and hamburgers. I feel like I could feed this with the raw pizza but it takes over 24 hours from the time I decide to make it until I can eat it. Top these cravings off with the fact that I had a Girl Scout meeting today (I am unwillingly the leader) and it makes for a hard day. The problem now is that it is 4:30 and I don't have anything that sounds good to eat in the house. I have plenty to eat but none of it sounds good. Hopefully this is another part of the addiction that will go away. I guess I'll just have a salad.

It seems that Mondays and Tuesdays have been harder for me. This week, I thoughtfully picked out what I was going to make but nothing seems to be coming out very well. I made pesto mushrooms which sounded good but feel too rich whenever I eat them. I tried to make sweet potato chips and they didn't come out very well at all. They still taste like raw potatoes which isn't that pleasant. I even put lemon and olive oil on them. I guess I didn't use enough and didn't dehydrate them long enough. I did them for 11 hours and the recipe only said 5 but they still are soft. I also tried to make onion dip. I had some at the party the other day and couldn't get enough. I think that maybe you really need a Vita mix for this. It never got creamy for me and became more like a pate. I really have had enough of the pates. I do have a few corn chips left and can make more guacamole. I think I need to see this as a learning experience of what foods I don't like.

I did come up with an idea for Easter. We have a Whole Foods downtown that has a raw food bar. I am going to make the trip down there this weekend and but some food to take to the Easter potluck. That way I will feel like I got a treat also.

Also today, my sinuses and knee hurt. I think this is part of the detoxSo all in all, I am trying to remember that my addiction is what is talking to me now. This is the time to meditate and be kind to myself. If I nurture myself and eat for fuel right now, maybe I'll start enjoying it again soon. The problem is that with a five and eight year old, I don't get time to nurture myself.

Tomorrow, Jessie has a field trip and we need to take a sack lunch. I am hoping to have something ready to take. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.