Day 19

Today was so much better. I really believe that God or the universe or whatever gives us the tools we need. Last night I was so upset by my perceived failure. I tried to call a few of my friends but they weren't available. I ended up posting to an email group and a web forum; and the responses I got were so wonderful. It was exactly the advice and validation I needed. Basically I've realized that I can be a bit of a perfectionist. I also somewhere in my mind I must view this as a diet if I consider eating a few cooked foods "cheating". If this is a lifestyle (I've already decided to continue eating this way past the 30 days) then there is no cheating. I had someone point out to me that I have eaten about 4 meals a day raw and maybe 1/4 of a meal cooked for 18 days. I think that is considered living raw in anyone's book. Also, I am only less than 3 weeks into this and am getting upset when I eat cooked foods. There is always a learning curve not to mention adjusting my taste buds and undoing 35 years of bad eating habits. I am doing pretty darn good. When seen in that light, I can't believe the progress I have made. Hopefully I can avoid another self-defeating episode like that. I have noticed some changes in my tastes. Maybe some day, even burgers on the grill won't appeal to me. By the way, I did have a little stomach ache last night and felt gassy.

I have seen some changes in my body. My face looks thinner. My knee is still hurting. Today it swelled up. A friend says that my muscles might be dehydrated. I haven't been doing well with my water. I also haven't gotten my period yet. I am almost a week late which isn't that unusual for me (and no there is no chance I am pregnant).

The thing with my knee is kind of weird. Every time I tried to do a body comp, the test would show that my cells are severely dehydrated but that I am retaining water. I always have this puffiness about me. Ritamarie told me last year it was because my cells were under-nourished. My friend today also told me that sugar can coat the cells so that nutrients and water can't get in. All of this knee stuff could be related. I really think that after my cells slough off this coating of yuck, they can absorb the nutrients and become hydrated. After that, my body will release all this extra water and I will see a significant water weight loss. It all sounds good to me.