Day 35 again

Obviously this is on my mind a bit. I had a few more thoughts today. I think that the big issue for me is that I really want to be 100% raw but my head keeps saying things like what about social events and well once in a while won't hurt? Also, the justification comes that I've always been a meat and fat eater and here I am raw vegan overnight. I really do know that having cooked food makes it harder to stay raw. I've been battling all day with wanting more cooked food. It is truly an addiction. My body really does feel better eating raw but my mind is rebelling. I also can justify the cooked food because I really didn't see a huge physical difference. I have a lot of stress going on right now so I know that my eating is more emotional. My mother-in-law just had a double mastectomy after surgery for a benign brain tumor last year. My mother is coming to visit this week for the first time in three years and the first time since acknowledging I was abused as a child but letting me know that it is all really about her and she doesn't care. My oldest daughter is making her First Communion even though I am not Catholic anymore (I changed to a liberal religion a few years ago) but my husband is. I'm really not trying to justify my eating but trying to be kind to myself when I do slip. I plan to maintain eating as much raw as I can for now (which should be about 90%) and trying to go 100% when I can cope a little better. Ritamarie told me once that there are four stages to breaking a habit, unconsciously doing it, consciously doing it, consciously not doing it, and unconsciously not doing it. I guess that at least I am on step two.