Pre-diet thoughts

Here I am at the beginning of my raw journey. I will start on Sunday. It's been a long road to this point. I have been overweight for all my adult life. I had an abusive childhood. My parents were sort of binge eaters. At times they were complete health addicts and then on holidays and special occasions, we would have all sorts of good things around. Food was one of the things my step-father controlled. When I left their house, I ate everything I could.

I had gestational diabetes with both of my daughters. I actually lost weight with my pregnancies. At the time I was horrible though, I would cash in my fruit and milk exchanges so I could eat at McDonald's. The food groups for me were meat, cheese, pasta, and fats. Before I got pregnant with my second daughter, I reached my heaviest weight at 252 lbs.

After I had my second daughter, I started wanting to change my life. I made the comittment to start exercising. I started doing water aerobics and changing to complex carbs and less meat and fat. I started to feel great. I was losing weight and was more aware of my body. I started doing yoga and working out in the gym. I even got certified to teach weight loss and lifestyle changes. I eventually even got certified to teach water aerobics.

I also have had bad allergies my whole life. I started getting allergy shots when I was 5. I have tried all sorts of allergy medications. I have had sinus surgery. I have migraines and excema. If I go outside during allergy season, I suffer for a few days. When I made these diet and exercise changes, I also started to go for natural healing (accupuncture, herbs, vitamins). I finally had relief from my allergies.

In true addict form, of course I didn't stick with these changes. Because of my childhood, I convinced myself that I "deserved" to eat whatever I wanted. Even if I wanted the salad instead of the burger, I would get the burger because "who knows when I would get another chance to have it". I have flip flopped back and forth between healthy and not so healthy eating many times.

I am now 35 and ready for a change. I really feel that going raw will be the answer. I am hoping to rid myself of my destructive ego so that I can commit to this. I am going to try to eat nothing but raw foods for a month with no exceptions (including Easter and meals with friends). This is a new concept for me because I always have allowed exceptions in the past.

Of course I am eating everything in sight until Sunday. In a way it is okay because I am getting so disgusted with these foods. I am having headaches and allergy problems. I will post my weight and pictures soon.